1 00:00:08,796 --> 00:00:10,754 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:16,213 --> 00:00:18,713 Larry: Salman Rushdie told me to live my life. 3 00:00:18,713 --> 00:00:23,255 And, you know, I'm not thinking about it as much as I used to, 4 00:00:23,255 --> 00:00:25,005 and so far, so good. 5 00:00:25,005 --> 00:00:26,422 That's great. 6 00:00:26,422 --> 00:00:28,046 Oh, I know what I wanted to talk to you about. 7 00:00:28,046 --> 00:00:29,879 I'm having this dream. 8 00:00:29,879 --> 00:00:32,046 - Right. - I've had it, like, three times. 9 00:00:32,046 --> 00:00:35,713 I'm in this room and there's all these virgins-- 10 00:00:35,713 --> 00:00:37,838 beautiful virgins, my God-- 11 00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:41,380 - and they all wanna have sex with me. - Wow. 12 00:00:41,380 --> 00:00:43,297 And I count-- I keep counting them up, 13 00:00:43,297 --> 00:00:45,713 and I can only count 71. 14 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:48,297 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-- I'm counting with my head-- 15 00:00:48,297 --> 00:00:50,338 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12... 16 00:00:50,338 --> 00:00:52,796 Sometimes I'll start over-- one, two, three, four... 17 00:00:52,796 --> 00:00:54,921 Right, the head count. 18 00:00:54,921 --> 00:00:57,171 Are you expecting more or less? 19 00:00:57,171 --> 00:00:58,671 I'm expecting 72. 20 00:00:58,671 --> 00:01:00,463 What if you just miscounted? 21 00:01:00,463 --> 00:01:02,130 That's a possibility. 22 00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:04,046 So, were you tempted to have sex with them? 23 00:01:04,046 --> 00:01:06,088 Well, I wanted to, but I was too concerned 24 00:01:06,088 --> 00:01:07,629 with the missing 72nd. 25 00:01:07,629 --> 00:01:10,879 - That was the issue. - What's interesting to me 26 00:01:10,879 --> 00:01:15,838 is that I find you're focused on the number of women 27 00:01:15,838 --> 00:01:20,088 who apparently are very interested in you, and yet-- 28 00:01:20,088 --> 00:01:23,171 Larry, you seem preoccupied. 29 00:01:23,171 --> 00:01:26,629 I'm just wondering... ( scoffs ) 30 00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:30,297 have you ever noticed the disparity in these two chairs? 31 00:01:30,297 --> 00:01:34,963 Your chair is so much better than this one. 32 00:01:34,963 --> 00:01:36,963 This is not a comfortable chair at all. 33 00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:38,879 Did-- did you buy these chairs? 34 00:01:38,879 --> 00:01:41,463 Yes, I-- I bought both of them. 35 00:01:41,463 --> 00:01:43,255 - You picked out both of them? - I picked them out, yeah. 36 00:01:43,255 --> 00:01:45,380 What was going through your head when you picked out this chair? 37 00:01:45,380 --> 00:01:46,963 You picked out a great chair for yourself. 38 00:01:46,963 --> 00:01:48,088 That's a gorgeous chair. 39 00:01:48,088 --> 00:01:49,463 I would have that in my house. 40 00:01:49,463 --> 00:01:51,088 But this one, it's not comfortable. 41 00:01:51,088 --> 00:01:53,088 I'm constantly shifting from side to side. 42 00:01:53,088 --> 00:01:55,088 You have the comfortable chair. 43 00:01:55,088 --> 00:01:57,005 You have taken the good chair. 44 00:01:57,005 --> 00:02:01,338 It's interesting-- you are the first and only patient 45 00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:03,713 who has ever said anything negative about that chair. 46 00:02:03,713 --> 00:02:05,796 I don't find that interesting at all. 47 00:02:05,796 --> 00:02:08,796 Well, I do, and that's my job-- to find things interesting. 48 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:11,297 - Well... ( scoffs ) - Interesting with the chair. 49 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:14,213 - I don't know what you're writing over there. - Chair issues. 50 00:02:14,213 --> 00:02:15,671 I think there's something deeper. 51 00:02:15,671 --> 00:02:16,879 I don't think you're writing anything. 52 00:02:16,879 --> 00:02:18,505 - No, I could show you. - Huh? 53 00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:20,629 - I could show you. - I mean, you're a nice man, 54 00:02:20,629 --> 00:02:22,921 but, you know, do you-- do you do that much? 55 00:02:22,921 --> 00:02:25,921 - Between you and me? - Don't you think that I do 56 00:02:25,921 --> 00:02:27,796 a significant amount of help to you? 57 00:02:27,796 --> 00:02:30,463 - Eh, no. - Really? 58 00:02:30,463 --> 00:02:31,713 May I be honest with you? 59 00:02:31,713 --> 00:02:34,879 I hope that you can always be honest with me. 60 00:02:34,879 --> 00:02:37,213 Well, I'm often never honest with you, 61 00:02:37,213 --> 00:02:39,046 but here's what I'm proposing. 62 00:02:39,046 --> 00:02:40,547 I think you should go chair shopping. 63 00:02:40,547 --> 00:02:42,422 I think you need another chair. 64 00:02:42,422 --> 00:02:44,921 And you know what else? I'm willing to go chair shopping with you. 65 00:02:44,921 --> 00:02:50,297 - Will you think about it? - I don't know, but I do know that the session is over, 66 00:02:50,297 --> 00:02:52,422 and so we'll have to pick this up next time. 67 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,921 It's tough for you to have to look at that watch, isn't it? 68 00:02:54,921 --> 00:02:57,422 It must be a little awkward. You know I see it. 69 00:02:57,422 --> 00:02:59,505 I know you see it. I'm not trying to sneak it. 70 00:02:59,505 --> 00:03:01,838 You can't-- you're trying to do a little sneaky watch peek. 71 00:03:01,838 --> 00:03:03,255 I'm not trying to do a sneaky watch peek, 72 00:03:03,255 --> 00:03:05,380 I'm trying to be efficient with our time. 73 00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:07,796 Why don't you put a clock behind me 74 00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:10,547 so you can have a clock, you know, when the time's up? 75 00:03:10,547 --> 00:03:14,088 - But, okay. - Nevertheless, it is-- it is over, 76 00:03:14,088 --> 00:03:17,588 and I'm looking forward to seeing you again next week. 77 00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:20,005 So, uh, you got big plans for the weekend? 78 00:03:20,005 --> 00:03:22,796 This weekend and all through next week 79 00:03:22,796 --> 00:03:26,422 my wife and I go out every single night to a different restaurant 80 00:03:26,422 --> 00:03:28,297 because it's truffle season. 81 00:03:28,297 --> 00:03:31,380 - It's wonderful. Do you like truffles? - No, I loathe them. 82 00:03:31,380 --> 00:03:34,463 They're disgusting. Oh, to each his own. 83 00:03:34,463 --> 00:03:35,963 - To each his own. - Yeah. 84 00:03:35,963 --> 00:03:37,713 Okay. Thank you, Larry. 85 00:03:37,713 --> 00:03:40,588 Okay. And, by the way, any time you wanna get rid of me as a patient, 86 00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:42,338 just say, "I've had enough." 87 00:03:42,338 --> 00:03:44,754 It'll be-- it'll be okay with me. 88 00:03:44,754 --> 00:03:47,213 - ( door closes ) - Oh, dear God. 89 00:03:52,130 --> 00:03:54,088 ( chatter ) 90 00:04:04,921 --> 00:04:06,921 Oh, dear. 91 00:04:06,921 --> 00:04:08,505 Oh, dear. 92 00:04:08,505 --> 00:04:11,505 Hey! How about this? 93 00:04:11,505 --> 00:04:13,255 I don't even know how to react. 94 00:04:13,255 --> 00:04:14,879 It's unbelievable. 95 00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:17,838 So, uh, over at the table over there, 96 00:04:17,838 --> 00:04:20,088 the young lady in the red dress? 97 00:04:20,088 --> 00:04:21,754 Yeah, yeah, I saw her earlier. 98 00:04:21,754 --> 00:04:25,505 She is a big-time real estate agent. 99 00:04:25,505 --> 00:04:26,713 - Larry: Yeah? - Okay, yes. 100 00:04:26,713 --> 00:04:28,046 Larry: You looking for a house? 101 00:04:28,046 --> 00:04:30,338 Well, I'm gonna go out looking for houses, 102 00:04:30,338 --> 00:04:33,171 - but I'm not looking for a house. - ( chuckles ) 103 00:04:33,171 --> 00:04:34,713 Wow. 104 00:04:34,713 --> 00:04:37,255 What a diabolical plan this is. 105 00:04:37,255 --> 00:04:39,713 It's a date, but they don't know it's a date. 106 00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,463 - Yes! - And if I want another date, 107 00:04:41,463 --> 00:04:43,921 I just go, "You know what? This house doesn't appeal to me. 108 00:04:43,921 --> 00:04:45,879 Tomorrow, are you good to see another house?" 109 00:04:45,879 --> 00:04:47,796 - Doesn't cost you a nickel. - Nope. Nope. 110 00:04:47,796 --> 00:04:50,213 She's excited to be with me. She wants to please me. 111 00:04:50,213 --> 00:04:51,671 - She wants to please you. - Yeah. 112 00:04:51,671 --> 00:04:53,463 - Oh, hey. Look at this. - Thank you. I appreciate it. 113 00:04:53,463 --> 00:04:54,963 - Thank you very much. - Oh, ho, ho! 114 00:04:54,963 --> 00:04:56,754 They love me! They're loving it! 115 00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:58,754 - Ah! - Thank you very much. 116 00:04:58,754 --> 00:05:01,671 - Congratulations. - You don't have to buy any of them. 117 00:05:01,671 --> 00:05:03,338 - You know... - Well, I wasn't gonna buy any, 118 00:05:03,338 --> 00:05:05,255 but, still, I can congratulate you. 119 00:05:05,255 --> 00:05:06,838 Are you vying for the title 120 00:05:06,838 --> 00:05:08,671 of the most pretentious man in the world? 121 00:05:08,671 --> 00:05:09,713 - What, this? - Yes. 122 00:05:09,713 --> 00:05:11,088 I've had this for decades. 123 00:05:11,088 --> 00:05:14,005 It looks like the Little Drummer Boy's funeral. 124 00:05:14,005 --> 00:05:16,838 - This is what he's wearing in the casket. - Mm-hmm, that's very funny. 125 00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:18,671 I never showed you my paintings at home 126 00:05:18,671 --> 00:05:22,046 because I knew you would, you know, just mock me and destroy me, so... 127 00:05:22,046 --> 00:05:23,505 - a big night for me. - Anyway, congratulations. 128 00:05:23,505 --> 00:05:25,338 - Congratulations. - This is quite a display here. 129 00:05:25,338 --> 00:05:27,338 - Do you understand any of it? - No. 130 00:05:27,338 --> 00:05:29,005 No, it's very confusing. 131 00:05:29,005 --> 00:05:30,505 - You don't under-- - I don't think you do either. 132 00:05:30,505 --> 00:05:32,879 Let me show you one, a painting I just sold. 133 00:05:32,879 --> 00:05:35,963 - I'm very excited. - Then maybe you could explain the mystery of that one. 134 00:05:35,963 --> 00:05:37,629 Richard: I will. This is one of my favorites. 135 00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:40,213 Yeah, so I sold this to a restaurant, 136 00:05:40,213 --> 00:05:41,713 and I'm really proud of it. 137 00:05:41,713 --> 00:05:44,921 - Who is that? - It's a self-portrait. 138 00:05:44,921 --> 00:05:46,838 That's you? 139 00:05:46,838 --> 00:05:49,380 What do you think a self-portrait means? Yeah, that's me. 140 00:05:49,380 --> 00:05:51,879 That's like you from 50 years ago! 141 00:05:51,879 --> 00:05:54,088 - No, this is me now. - Jeff: What? 142 00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:56,088 You honestly feel you look like that? 143 00:05:56,088 --> 00:05:58,046 100%. 144 00:05:58,046 --> 00:05:59,463 You know what? 145 00:05:59,463 --> 00:06:02,046 I think I want a portrait by Richard Lewis. 146 00:06:02,046 --> 00:06:04,046 Yeah, well, look, he's gonna make you look great. 147 00:06:04,046 --> 00:06:05,588 Maybe you could paint me with hair. 148 00:06:05,588 --> 00:06:07,005 ( guffaws ) 149 00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,713 ( chatter ) 150 00:06:13,671 --> 00:06:15,213 - Hey. - Hey! 151 00:06:15,213 --> 00:06:18,255 Did you hear about Marty Funkhouser's nephew, Kenny? 152 00:06:18,255 --> 00:06:19,380 - Yeah. - He died. 153 00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:21,088 - Unbelievable. - It's so sad. 154 00:06:21,088 --> 00:06:23,297 - I know. - He was supposed to be going to Stanford. 155 00:06:23,297 --> 00:06:25,338 - Larry: Yeah. - You heard what happened, right? 156 00:06:25,338 --> 00:06:27,422 - He got mixed up with a prostitute. - Prostitute, right. 157 00:06:27,422 --> 00:06:29,422 - Jeff: Mm-hmm. - Ted: Followed her to Europe. 158 00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:32,713 - Yeah. - Ended up going to Pamplona to run with the bulls. 159 00:06:32,713 --> 00:06:35,255 - And got trampled. - I know. 160 00:06:35,255 --> 00:06:37,213 How does a young boy get involved with a prostitute? 161 00:06:37,213 --> 00:06:38,921 Well, I can only surmise 162 00:06:38,921 --> 00:06:42,297 that he was in need of a prostitute for some reason, 163 00:06:42,297 --> 00:06:46,422 he met with the prostitute, and he was in love with her and followed her over there. 164 00:06:46,422 --> 00:06:49,629 - How do you know these details? - I'm just putting two and two together. 165 00:06:49,629 --> 00:06:53,255 - Where's the two and two? - Well, two and two-- you got a high school senior, 166 00:06:53,255 --> 00:06:55,671 he has an experience with a prostitute, 167 00:06:55,671 --> 00:06:59,754 and then is so enamored, that he-- he follows her all the way to Spain. 168 00:06:59,754 --> 00:07:01,629 Again, very detailed. 169 00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:03,588 No, I'm just putting two and two together, that's all. 170 00:07:03,588 --> 00:07:04,963 Again, I don't see the two and two. 171 00:07:04,963 --> 00:07:07,255 Oh, there's two and there's another two. 172 00:07:07,255 --> 00:07:09,422 - Larry: It's one and one together. - It doesn't really add up. 173 00:07:09,422 --> 00:07:11,796 - Honestly. It's too much. - It's shocking. 174 00:07:11,796 --> 00:07:14,463 - It's shocking. - Ted: He got trampled to death. 175 00:07:14,463 --> 00:07:15,963 Well, that's not so shocking. 176 00:07:15,963 --> 00:07:17,422 You're running with the bulls. 177 00:07:17,422 --> 00:07:19,171 It'd be shocking if he didn't die. 178 00:07:19,171 --> 00:07:21,463 - That's-- that's the shock. - What? 179 00:07:21,463 --> 00:07:23,547 It's what men do. They want to impress girls, 180 00:07:23,547 --> 00:07:25,297 so they do crazy stuff like that. 181 00:07:25,297 --> 00:07:27,130 He wanted to impress the prostitute? 182 00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:29,713 Yeah, usually, you don't have to impress a prostitute. 183 00:07:29,713 --> 00:07:32,213 Well, remember-- remember when we were dating 184 00:07:32,213 --> 00:07:34,213 and we went horseback riding, 185 00:07:34,213 --> 00:07:35,963 and I galloped and almost fell off? 186 00:07:35,963 --> 00:07:37,588 I was just trying to impress you. 187 00:07:37,588 --> 00:07:39,629 Jeff: Yeah, but she's not a prostitute. 188 00:07:39,629 --> 00:07:41,671 - But I was having sex with her. - But you weren't paying her for it. 189 00:07:41,671 --> 00:07:44,046 - Cheryl: Okay. - Right, right. 190 00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:47,754 - All: Oh. - Marty, I am so sorry. 191 00:07:47,754 --> 00:07:50,338 - So sorry to hear about Kenny. - Thank you, thank you. 192 00:07:50,338 --> 00:07:52,213 Really sorry. 193 00:07:52,213 --> 00:07:54,629 It's the worst thing that's happened to me in my life. 194 00:07:54,629 --> 00:07:58,046 - I mean, he's like a son I never had. - Ted: Mm. 195 00:07:58,046 --> 00:08:00,838 Although, my daughter is transitioning. 196 00:08:00,838 --> 00:08:03,380 - Ah. How's that going? - So far, so good. 197 00:08:03,380 --> 00:08:05,838 You know, I saw her a couple of weeks ago. She looked pretty good. 198 00:08:05,838 --> 00:08:08,297 - Yeah, well, she's a he now, so. - Yeah, he. 199 00:08:08,297 --> 00:08:09,921 When-- when does she get the penis? 200 00:08:09,921 --> 00:08:12,671 He's talking about it. It takes time to decide. 201 00:08:12,671 --> 00:08:15,380 Larry: Well, if he gets the penis, do they throw in the balls? 202 00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:18,588 Marty, I'm so sorry about Kenny. 203 00:08:18,588 --> 00:08:20,547 Is there anything we can do? 204 00:08:20,547 --> 00:08:22,422 I'd love you to come to the memorial. 205 00:08:22,422 --> 00:08:24,588 - Oh, we wouldn't miss it. - I appreciate it. 206 00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:27,547 Sorry, we have an early dinner to go to. 207 00:08:27,547 --> 00:08:29,796 Dinner? It's 3:30. 208 00:08:29,796 --> 00:08:32,629 - Dinner? - Hey, you better be at the memorial. 209 00:08:32,629 --> 00:08:34,005 Oh, one sec. 210 00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:40,171 Hey, Cheryl, um, let me ask you a question. 211 00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:42,380 When you're at Dr. Templeton's office-- 212 00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:44,213 we share the same therapist-- 213 00:08:44,213 --> 00:08:47,713 you ever notice how his chair is so much better and bigger 214 00:08:47,713 --> 00:08:50,463 than that dinky chair that he gives to us? 215 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:53,088 I've never thought about the chair when I was in therapy. 216 00:08:53,088 --> 00:08:54,879 What-- what do you think about that? 217 00:08:54,879 --> 00:08:57,338 I'm just so happy you're seeing somebody, pal, I really do. 218 00:08:57,338 --> 00:08:59,255 I think it's great. Do you like him? 219 00:08:59,255 --> 00:09:01,505 I'm only seeing him because of the whole fatwa business, that's all. 220 00:09:01,505 --> 00:09:05,046 - Believe me. - Well, don't make me sorry that I recommended him to you. 221 00:09:05,046 --> 00:09:06,588 I'm not talking about you. 222 00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:08,671 - Okay. - Are you talking about me? 223 00:09:08,671 --> 00:09:10,838 - We should go. Yeah. - Ted: Yeah. 224 00:09:10,838 --> 00:09:12,921 All I'm saying is next time you're there, 225 00:09:12,921 --> 00:09:15,213 just be kind of aware of the chairs 226 00:09:15,213 --> 00:09:17,422 and the striking difference between the two, 227 00:09:17,422 --> 00:09:19,422 and tell me that I'm not crazy. 228 00:09:19,422 --> 00:09:21,879 Uh, we do have reservations at Mélisse. 229 00:09:21,879 --> 00:09:23,422 - Do you know Mélisse? Ah! - Mélisse? 230 00:09:23,422 --> 00:09:25,046 Good choice. It's truffle season. 231 00:09:25,046 --> 00:09:26,547 ( chuckles ) What? 232 00:09:26,547 --> 00:09:27,921 How do you know it's truffle season? 233 00:09:27,921 --> 00:09:29,255 Dr. Templeton told me. 234 00:09:29,255 --> 00:09:31,422 What do you talk about in your sessions? 235 00:09:31,422 --> 00:09:34,796 - That's okay. That's okay. Okay. - He loves truffles! 236 00:09:34,796 --> 00:09:36,754 ( music playing ) 237 00:09:50,130 --> 00:09:51,796 ( grunting ) 238 00:09:55,588 --> 00:09:57,588 Ay, dah! 239 00:09:59,963 --> 00:10:02,879 Larry: There's not enough room to get my hand in there to get the penis out. 240 00:10:02,879 --> 00:10:05,754 I've never really come across this problem before. 241 00:10:05,754 --> 00:10:08,130 Can't get my penis out of my pants? 242 00:10:08,130 --> 00:10:10,130 Have you ever heard of a short fly? 243 00:10:10,130 --> 00:10:13,380 And I'm not gonna unbutton and have them drop on the floor. 244 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:14,921 Look, here's a solution-- 245 00:10:14,921 --> 00:10:18,963 index finger, you take it, you go down, 246 00:10:18,963 --> 00:10:21,629 put it in your zipper, press down on the shaft, 247 00:10:21,629 --> 00:10:23,255 allows your head to pop up. 248 00:10:23,255 --> 00:10:24,796 - Pop up by itself. - Huh. 249 00:10:24,796 --> 00:10:27,754 - Press, pop up. - Like tiddlywinks. 250 00:10:27,754 --> 00:10:28,963 Yeah, like tiddlywinks. 251 00:10:28,963 --> 00:10:31,255 Those pants might've been manufactured 252 00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:33,547 in a country that has small penises. 253 00:10:33,547 --> 00:10:37,005 So these pants fit the penis from whence they came. 254 00:10:37,005 --> 00:10:41,380 You're goddamn right. Why would they make a little fly in a country with big-ass dicks? 255 00:10:41,380 --> 00:10:42,713 See, I'ma tell you, I don't have that problem 256 00:10:42,713 --> 00:10:44,171 'cause I buy my shit from Jamaica. 257 00:10:44,171 --> 00:10:45,754 My pants are slacks. 258 00:10:45,754 --> 00:10:47,505 The manufacturer, he makes jeans 259 00:10:47,505 --> 00:10:50,588 for people with big-ass fucking johnsons, like me. 260 00:10:50,588 --> 00:10:52,629 - Wow. - When I go to the bathroom 261 00:10:52,629 --> 00:10:54,380 and I sit down on the toilet, 262 00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:56,796 my johnson hangs in the water. 263 00:10:56,796 --> 00:10:58,088 ( scoffs, chuckles ) 264 00:10:58,088 --> 00:11:01,171 That's just such nonsense. 265 00:11:01,171 --> 00:11:02,338 What are you saying that for? 266 00:11:02,338 --> 00:11:03,505 I sit on the fucking toilet, 267 00:11:03,505 --> 00:11:04,879 my shit goes under the water 268 00:11:04,879 --> 00:11:06,171 like-- like this. 269 00:11:06,171 --> 00:11:07,671 It's almost like it grabs its fucking head 270 00:11:07,671 --> 00:11:09,005 and just like-- and it goes in like this. 271 00:11:09,005 --> 00:11:10,505 - Bullshit. - All the fucking time. 272 00:11:10,505 --> 00:11:12,297 - Penis touching the-- hey! - When I sit down-- 273 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,838 Hey. 274 00:11:13,838 --> 00:11:15,838 Front door was unlocked. 275 00:11:17,088 --> 00:11:18,380 - What? - What? 276 00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:19,713 You left the door unlocked again? 277 00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:21,046 We never had that conversation, ever. 278 00:11:22,713 --> 00:11:24,130 I gotta talk to you quickly. 279 00:11:24,130 --> 00:11:25,463 You're having lunch with Lewis, right? 280 00:11:25,463 --> 00:11:27,046 - Yeah. - Okay, get there early. 281 00:11:27,046 --> 00:11:29,255 Oh, yeah, 'cause he takes the good seat, yeah. 282 00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:32,380 - What's wrong with him? - I've never had lunch with him in 20 years 283 00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:34,213 where I haven't been looking at a wall. 284 00:11:34,213 --> 00:11:38,005 I say trick him the next time in terms of what time lunch is. 285 00:11:38,005 --> 00:11:40,547 No, I'm just gonna show up a half hour earlier. 286 00:11:43,380 --> 00:11:45,629 Uh, can we just have a moment alone? 287 00:11:45,629 --> 00:11:48,088 Once I start laughing, I'm a part of this shit. 288 00:11:48,088 --> 00:11:50,297 Get the fuck out. You heard him. 289 00:11:50,297 --> 00:11:51,547 - Leon: It's all good. - Yeah. 290 00:11:51,547 --> 00:11:53,588 Let you handle your business. 291 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:56,588 I'm trying to be casual, 292 00:11:56,588 --> 00:11:58,130 but it's really difficult. 293 00:11:58,130 --> 00:12:00,213 Remember the realtor from the art gallery? 294 00:12:00,213 --> 00:12:03,796 - Yeah. - Well, she had an open house, 295 00:12:03,796 --> 00:12:07,380 and let's just say it stayed open a little longer for me. 296 00:12:07,380 --> 00:12:09,338 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 297 00:12:09,338 --> 00:12:12,422 - You had sex with her in an open house? - In an open house. 298 00:12:12,422 --> 00:12:14,796 - That's unbelievable. - Unbelievable. 299 00:12:14,796 --> 00:12:16,921 And you know they have cookies at the open houses. 300 00:12:16,921 --> 00:12:19,754 - Yeah. - Brought the cookies up with me, so we had sex... 301 00:12:19,754 --> 00:12:21,879 - Oh, my God. - ...I had some cookies, took a nap. 302 00:12:21,879 --> 00:12:25,838 - On what? - Well, they have the staging furniture. 303 00:12:25,838 --> 00:12:28,921 - Wow. - Oh, wow, mm. 304 00:12:28,921 --> 00:12:30,422 - Why? What? - What are you doing, 305 00:12:30,422 --> 00:12:31,463 listening in to our conversation? 306 00:12:31,463 --> 00:12:32,754 Fuck, yeah, I was. 307 00:12:32,754 --> 00:12:33,921 He's listening to the whole thing? 308 00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,588 Yes! 309 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,463 You said leave, you didn't say I couldn't come back. 310 00:12:38,463 --> 00:12:40,588 Now tell me where that fucking house is at. 311 00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,547 Larry: So, now I'm having this nightmare. 312 00:12:44,547 --> 00:12:47,796 I'm in this room, maybe it's a hall of some kind, 313 00:12:47,796 --> 00:12:50,505 I can't really tell, and there's a lot of people, 314 00:12:50,505 --> 00:12:53,463 it's very crowded, and I'm feeling a lot of anxiety. 315 00:12:53,463 --> 00:12:55,838 And then all of a sudden, I look up at this balcony 316 00:12:55,838 --> 00:12:57,963 and-- and I see this guy, 317 00:12:57,963 --> 00:12:59,921 and he's wearing a big coat, 318 00:12:59,921 --> 00:13:02,380 and I know this is it, this is the fatwa! 319 00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:04,879 This is it and I can't get out, I'm trapped! 320 00:13:04,879 --> 00:13:07,338 Can I stop you right there for a second? 321 00:13:07,338 --> 00:13:09,796 Can I tell you what is really on my mind? 322 00:13:09,796 --> 00:13:11,754 I have a little bit of an issue. 323 00:13:11,754 --> 00:13:15,963 - Please. - Cheryl was in just the other day... 324 00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:17,213 Mm-hmm. 325 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:20,171 ...and she brought me a gift. 326 00:13:20,171 --> 00:13:24,338 You see this lovely assortment of truffle oils? 327 00:13:24,338 --> 00:13:27,046 Huh, what do you know about that? 328 00:13:27,046 --> 00:13:29,255 How did Cheryl know 329 00:13:29,255 --> 00:13:32,338 that my wife and I love truffles? 330 00:13:32,338 --> 00:13:37,255 - You told Cheryl. - Yeah, I told her you-- you love truffles, yeah. 331 00:13:37,255 --> 00:13:41,088 There's been a breach of the patient-doctor confidentiality. 332 00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:44,297 There's no such thing as patient-doctor confidentiality. 333 00:13:44,297 --> 00:13:46,005 I think what you're referring to 334 00:13:46,005 --> 00:13:48,005 is doctor-patient confidentiality, 335 00:13:48,005 --> 00:13:50,671 and that's a whole different ball game. 336 00:13:50,671 --> 00:13:52,963 Larry, what I try to create here 337 00:13:52,963 --> 00:13:55,005 is a circle of trust. 338 00:13:55,005 --> 00:13:57,671 And-- can I have your arms for a second? 339 00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:00,380 - I'd rather not. - All right. Well, then I'll do it with my own arms. 340 00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:02,505 - Yeah, use your own arms. - Here it is like this... 341 00:14:02,505 --> 00:14:03,879 - Yeah. - ...and it creates a circle. 342 00:14:03,879 --> 00:14:05,255 - Mm-hmm. - And quite frankly, 343 00:14:05,255 --> 00:14:07,088 nothing should leave this circle. 344 00:14:07,088 --> 00:14:08,879 It should be ironclad. 345 00:14:08,879 --> 00:14:11,171 All right, I-- I apologize 346 00:14:11,171 --> 00:14:13,713 if I betrayed your confidence in any way, 347 00:14:13,713 --> 00:14:16,713 and you have my word 348 00:14:16,713 --> 00:14:20,713 that it will never, ever happen again. 349 00:14:20,713 --> 00:14:23,588 Larry, I think this is a breakthrough. 350 00:14:23,588 --> 00:14:24,713 No, it's not a breakthrough. 351 00:14:24,713 --> 00:14:25,963 I think it's a breakthrough. 352 00:14:25,963 --> 00:14:27,297 It's not a breakthrough. 353 00:14:27,297 --> 00:14:28,713 I'm pretty sure it's a breakthrough. 354 00:14:28,713 --> 00:14:30,796 I'm gonna write down "breakthrough." 355 00:14:30,796 --> 00:14:32,754 You writing down "breakthrough" is just a waste of everybody's time. 356 00:14:32,754 --> 00:14:34,505 That whole pad, you might as well throw it-- 357 00:14:34,505 --> 00:14:36,505 - there's nothing in that pad. - "Breakthrough." 358 00:14:36,505 --> 00:14:38,838 Anything else on your mind? 359 00:14:38,838 --> 00:14:42,547 You know, I've got these pants, okay, 360 00:14:42,547 --> 00:14:45,588 and they have a short fly. 361 00:14:45,588 --> 00:14:49,171 Very hard to, uh, extricate the penis. 362 00:14:49,171 --> 00:14:50,629 You ever had a pair of pants like that 363 00:14:50,629 --> 00:14:52,130 where you can't get your penis out? 364 00:14:52,130 --> 00:14:54,171 Once, I think, a while ago, 365 00:14:54,171 --> 00:14:55,838 and someone told me of a method-- 366 00:14:55,838 --> 00:14:58,005 I think you unzip, 367 00:14:58,005 --> 00:15:02,547 you dive down with your index finger, 368 00:15:02,547 --> 00:15:04,629 - and... pop up. - Pops up. 369 00:15:04,629 --> 00:15:05,963 - The tiddlywink-- - Tiddlywink! 370 00:15:05,963 --> 00:15:07,505 - Yeah! - Yeah. That might work. 371 00:15:07,505 --> 00:15:08,921 My friend told me the same thing. 372 00:15:08,921 --> 00:15:11,921 Listen, Barneys Warehouse is having a sale... 373 00:15:11,921 --> 00:15:13,671 - Mm-hmm. - ...and I'm sure they have 374 00:15:13,671 --> 00:15:17,255 a variety of long-fly slacks. 375 00:15:17,255 --> 00:15:18,921 All right, maybe I'll check it out. 376 00:15:18,921 --> 00:15:21,754 Well, I see that it is time to go. 377 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,255 Do you know how I know that? 378 00:15:25,005 --> 00:15:27,505 - Wait a second! - ( chuckles ) 379 00:15:27,505 --> 00:15:29,297 Ho, ho! Look at that! 380 00:15:29,297 --> 00:15:33,297 Ah! I cannot tell you how happy I am about that. 381 00:15:33,297 --> 00:15:35,463 It has made my life easier. 382 00:15:35,463 --> 00:15:37,130 You see? Everything's working. 383 00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:38,796 All we gotta do is fix these chairs. 384 00:15:38,796 --> 00:15:41,963 I will call you first if I ever decide to go chair shopping. 385 00:15:41,963 --> 00:15:43,505 - Excellent. - Thank you. 386 00:15:43,505 --> 00:15:44,921 - All right. - All right, Larry. 387 00:15:44,921 --> 00:15:46,796 ( music playing ) 388 00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:51,963 - Good afternoon. - Good afternoon. Welcome to Rustic Canyon. 389 00:15:51,963 --> 00:15:54,629 I have a reservation for David. 390 00:15:54,629 --> 00:15:57,963 I'm about, uh, 20 minutes early. 391 00:15:57,963 --> 00:15:59,255 Fantastic. 392 00:15:59,255 --> 00:16:00,463 Ah, the rest of your party has already arrived. 393 00:16:05,505 --> 00:16:07,463 ( scoffs ) 394 00:16:07,463 --> 00:16:09,463 It's unbelievable. 395 00:16:09,463 --> 00:16:11,963 - How long's he been here? - About 10 minutes. 396 00:16:11,963 --> 00:16:13,505 - Ah. - Yeah. 397 00:16:13,505 --> 00:16:15,171 - Okay, thank you. - Enjoy. 398 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:23,171 - Did you get here early enough? - I got here when I got here. 399 00:16:23,171 --> 00:16:25,005 I'm here 20 minutes early, 400 00:16:25,005 --> 00:16:27,338 and he said you were here 10 minutes before me. 401 00:16:27,338 --> 00:16:30,547 That puts you here a half hour before the reservation. 402 00:16:30,547 --> 00:16:32,255 Well, you got here early, too. 403 00:16:32,255 --> 00:16:34,338 Yeah, because I wanted to beat you to the good seat, 404 00:16:34,338 --> 00:16:35,754 'cause you always have to get the good seat. 405 00:16:35,754 --> 00:16:37,838 - That's not true. - It is true. 406 00:16:37,838 --> 00:16:40,088 Come on, I got this fatwa. I can't sit here with my back to the door. 407 00:16:40,088 --> 00:16:41,505 I already ordered something 408 00:16:41,505 --> 00:16:43,297 and I've touched all the-- all the-- 409 00:16:43,297 --> 00:16:45,338 That doesn't mean anything. We'll get new silverware. 410 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,671 You'll get a disease or something. 411 00:16:46,671 --> 00:16:47,838 So, you're not gonna let me sit there? 412 00:16:47,838 --> 00:16:49,297 No fucking way. 413 00:16:49,297 --> 00:16:51,213 You know what? The next time we have lunch, 414 00:16:51,213 --> 00:16:53,754 you better set your alarm for 7:00 in the morning. 415 00:16:53,754 --> 00:16:56,505 I'm setting my alarm for 6:30, you prick. 416 00:16:56,505 --> 00:16:58,838 Is that so? I'll be staying up all night 417 00:16:58,838 --> 00:17:01,671 waiting outside that door for them to open it. 418 00:17:01,671 --> 00:17:03,046 I'll be here before the owner. 419 00:17:03,046 --> 00:17:04,838 Yeah? Well, I got news for you. I got perks. 420 00:17:04,838 --> 00:17:08,213 They bought my picture, so I'm gonna sleep in the kitchen. 421 00:17:08,213 --> 00:17:10,213 You lost, pal. 422 00:17:10,213 --> 00:17:11,879 ( scoffs ) 423 00:17:13,713 --> 00:17:17,338 Woman: Oh, yeah! Oh! Close that deal! 424 00:17:17,338 --> 00:17:19,213 - Jeff: You close the deal! - You close the deal! 425 00:17:19,213 --> 00:17:22,130 - Jeff: You close the deal! - Make me an offer! 426 00:17:22,130 --> 00:17:23,213 ( Jeff moaning ) 427 00:17:23,213 --> 00:17:24,463 Ooh! 428 00:17:24,463 --> 00:17:26,754 ( both screaming ) 429 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:31,671 I've seen every house that's for sale in Brentwood, 430 00:17:31,671 --> 00:17:35,754 and I've had sex in every house that's for sale in Brentwood. 431 00:17:35,754 --> 00:17:38,838 We even had sex in a house that was in escrow. 432 00:17:38,838 --> 00:17:40,796 - Yes. - You don't have to worry about hotels, 433 00:17:40,796 --> 00:17:41,921 - anything like that. - Nothing. 434 00:17:41,921 --> 00:17:43,671 You go to these houses. 435 00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:45,505 And let's say I'm driving around a different neighborhood 436 00:17:45,505 --> 00:17:47,171 and I see a house that's for sale, 437 00:17:47,171 --> 00:17:48,754 gets me kind of horny. 438 00:17:48,754 --> 00:17:52,255 She is not only a good-looking woman, 439 00:17:52,255 --> 00:17:54,671 - but she's so stylish. - Very sharp. 440 00:17:54,671 --> 00:17:56,671 - Both: She's very sharp. - I need to up my game. 441 00:17:56,671 --> 00:17:58,588 It's-- now, don't get me wrong, it's a nice suit, 442 00:17:58,588 --> 00:18:00,255 but it's four years old. 443 00:18:00,255 --> 00:18:02,671 You know what? Barneys is having a warehouse sale. 444 00:18:02,671 --> 00:18:03,963 The fuck do you know from 445 00:18:03,963 --> 00:18:05,671 Barneys having a warehouse sale? 446 00:18:05,671 --> 00:18:07,422 Never thought I'd hear those words coming out of your mouth. 447 00:18:07,422 --> 00:18:09,130 ( exhales ) I-- I heard. 448 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:10,505 What do you mean, you heard? 449 00:18:10,505 --> 00:18:11,588 Who would've told you that? 450 00:18:11,588 --> 00:18:12,879 ( stutters ) I don't know. 451 00:18:12,879 --> 00:18:14,796 - I just heard somewhere. - You heard? 452 00:18:14,796 --> 00:18:16,505 You wanna explain yourself? 453 00:18:16,505 --> 00:18:19,463 Would you like to tell me what I need to explain? 454 00:18:19,463 --> 00:18:21,713 Well, I just got off the phone with Jane Kleinberg 455 00:18:21,713 --> 00:18:25,754 and she told me she saw you in a car with another woman. 456 00:18:25,754 --> 00:18:27,671 Well, do you know who that woman is? 457 00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:31,046 - No, I do not. - She is a realtor. 458 00:18:31,046 --> 00:18:34,130 - Yeah. - And I am looking for houses. 459 00:18:34,130 --> 00:18:37,380 I was surprising you by buying a house. 460 00:18:37,380 --> 00:18:38,671 - Really? - Yeah. 461 00:18:38,671 --> 00:18:40,130 He was just telling me all about it, 462 00:18:40,130 --> 00:18:41,963 and now you ruined the surprise. 463 00:18:41,963 --> 00:18:43,505 Well, that's very sweet of you. 464 00:18:43,505 --> 00:18:45,130 It is very sweet of me. 465 00:18:45,130 --> 00:18:47,963 How about this guy, huh? You're a lucky woman. 466 00:18:47,963 --> 00:18:51,171 Thank you for the surprise and I'm sorry to ruin, 467 00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:54,338 but... you know, I never know with you two. 468 00:18:54,338 --> 00:18:57,879 He's a beautiful man. A beautiful man. 469 00:18:57,879 --> 00:18:59,213 That's right. 470 00:19:01,088 --> 00:19:03,380 - ( music playing ) - ( chatter ) 471 00:19:10,463 --> 00:19:12,171 - You working here? - Yes. 472 00:19:12,171 --> 00:19:14,796 Hey, could you do me a favor? 473 00:19:14,796 --> 00:19:16,713 I want to sit in the last row, 474 00:19:16,713 --> 00:19:18,588 in the seat that's closest to the door. 475 00:19:18,588 --> 00:19:20,671 Can you reserve that for me? Could you do that? 476 00:19:20,671 --> 00:19:23,171 I'm sorry. We don't save seats. 477 00:19:23,171 --> 00:19:24,463 You don't save seats? 478 00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:26,088 What is that? That's a policy? 479 00:19:26,088 --> 00:19:29,671 It's a memorial and that's not part of it. 480 00:19:29,671 --> 00:19:33,130 What about we make a little-- 481 00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,547 we make a little deal? 482 00:19:34,547 --> 00:19:38,547 You get a little paid for your trouble, huh? 483 00:19:38,547 --> 00:19:41,005 It's five bucks. 484 00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:42,963 Okay. 485 00:19:42,963 --> 00:19:45,171 - Is that better? Huh? - Which seat was it again? 486 00:19:45,171 --> 00:19:47,879 - It was the last row? - The last row, closest to the door. 487 00:19:47,879 --> 00:19:50,005 - Uh-huh. Yeah. - Yeah. 488 00:19:50,005 --> 00:19:51,671 - You got it. - Thank you. 489 00:19:51,671 --> 00:19:52,963 You're welcome. 490 00:19:52,963 --> 00:19:55,754 ...a very troubled family. 491 00:19:55,754 --> 00:19:56,671 Hey. 492 00:20:00,505 --> 00:20:02,671 Hmm. 493 00:20:02,671 --> 00:20:05,422 - Okay. - Okay. 494 00:20:05,422 --> 00:20:06,838 - Cheryl. - Hey. 495 00:20:06,838 --> 00:20:08,505 Hey. 496 00:20:08,505 --> 00:20:10,505 What's Dr. Templeton doing here? 497 00:20:10,505 --> 00:20:13,547 Oh, you know, Marty is having such a hard time 498 00:20:13,547 --> 00:20:15,171 - with this whole thing. - Is he? 499 00:20:15,171 --> 00:20:17,422 So I suggested that he talk to Lionel. 500 00:20:17,422 --> 00:20:20,255 - Lionel? - Dr. Templeton. 501 00:20:20,255 --> 00:20:22,713 You know, this is odd, though, because when he passed me, 502 00:20:22,713 --> 00:20:25,338 I gave him a very friendly hello. 503 00:20:25,338 --> 00:20:26,754 I went, "Hey!" 504 00:20:26,754 --> 00:20:29,796 And I get back... 505 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:33,422 And I couldn't tell if it was a typical funeral nod 506 00:20:33,422 --> 00:20:35,879 or if he's angry with me 507 00:20:35,879 --> 00:20:38,754 because I want to change the chair in the office. 508 00:20:38,754 --> 00:20:40,255 Well, it seems like it would be odd 509 00:20:40,255 --> 00:20:42,754 for him to give you a big hello at a funeral. 510 00:20:42,754 --> 00:20:45,629 - I'm not asking for a big hello, Cheryl. - A young man died 511 00:20:45,629 --> 00:20:47,838 and needs all of his friends and family. 512 00:20:47,838 --> 00:20:50,213 I'm asking for, you know, a friendly hello. 513 00:20:50,213 --> 00:20:51,838 "Ah." That's not big. 514 00:20:51,838 --> 00:20:54,754 You know, maybe you should make it less about you. 515 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,088 And by the way, you really got me in a lot of trouble... 516 00:20:57,088 --> 00:20:58,463 - Why? - ...with Dr. Templeton. 517 00:20:58,463 --> 00:21:00,213 Because you told him that I said 518 00:21:00,213 --> 00:21:01,297 that he likes truffles. 519 00:21:01,297 --> 00:21:03,213 I got him truffle oil as a gift. 520 00:21:03,213 --> 00:21:04,963 I didn't-- wasn't even talking about you. 521 00:21:04,963 --> 00:21:06,380 - How...? - Well, he said it was a breach 522 00:21:06,380 --> 00:21:08,297 of patient-doctor confidentiality, 523 00:21:08,297 --> 00:21:09,838 which there's really no such thing. 524 00:21:09,838 --> 00:21:11,463 Okay, well, then, you know what? 525 00:21:11,463 --> 00:21:14,213 We should respect Lionel and his process and-- 526 00:21:14,213 --> 00:21:16,130 You don't have to keep calling him Lionel. 527 00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:18,671 Maybe it's getting too complicated 528 00:21:18,671 --> 00:21:20,671 having the same therapist. 529 00:21:20,671 --> 00:21:22,879 Gotta say, you're looking sharp, sweetheart. 530 00:21:22,879 --> 00:21:25,255 I like this three-piece. I like the whole look. 531 00:21:25,255 --> 00:21:26,463 - Yeah? - This slims you. 532 00:21:26,463 --> 00:21:28,213 It holds you in, it's great. 533 00:21:28,213 --> 00:21:29,963 - I-- - Where'd you get that? Barneys, you said? 534 00:21:29,963 --> 00:21:33,213 - Barneys Warehouse sale. - Barneys Warehouse sale? 535 00:21:33,213 --> 00:21:35,463 How the fuck did you know about Barneys Warehouse sale? 536 00:21:35,463 --> 00:21:37,171 Uh, Larry told me. 537 00:21:37,171 --> 00:21:40,130 - Larry told you about Barneys Warehouse sale? - Yeah. 538 00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:42,005 I find that very difficult to believe. 539 00:21:42,005 --> 00:21:44,671 - Why do you even give a shit? - Larry! Lar! 540 00:21:44,671 --> 00:21:46,005 Come over here. 541 00:21:46,005 --> 00:21:47,505 There's always something up with you two 542 00:21:47,505 --> 00:21:48,838 that I can't trust, you know that? 543 00:21:48,838 --> 00:21:51,838 Did you tell Jeff about Barneys Warehouse sale? 544 00:21:51,838 --> 00:21:53,879 - Yeah. - Where'd you hear about that from? 545 00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:56,297 That's so not you. 546 00:21:56,297 --> 00:21:58,713 Uh, I can't say. 547 00:21:58,713 --> 00:22:00,713 What do you mean you can't say? 548 00:22:00,713 --> 00:22:04,754 ( loudly ) I can't say who told me about Barneys Warehouse sale. 549 00:22:04,754 --> 00:22:06,588 I'm not at liberty to say. 550 00:22:06,588 --> 00:22:08,505 It's a fucking sale, Larry. 551 00:22:08,505 --> 00:22:10,547 Who gives a shit? Just tell me who told you. 552 00:22:10,547 --> 00:22:14,713 ( loudly ) No, I will not and cannot tell you 553 00:22:14,713 --> 00:22:17,921 who told me about Barneys Warehouse sale. 554 00:22:17,921 --> 00:22:19,671 All right, this is sounding like bullshit now. 555 00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:22,088 This sounds like another one of your mishegoss bullshit thing. 556 00:22:22,088 --> 00:22:25,754 - It's not. Just tell her. - That is confidential information, 557 00:22:25,754 --> 00:22:29,338 which I will never reveal under any circumstances. 558 00:22:29,338 --> 00:22:30,879 Larry didn't tell you about Barneys Warehouse. 559 00:22:30,879 --> 00:22:32,588 - He told me about Barneys. - No, he did not. 560 00:22:32,588 --> 00:22:34,380 ( all shouting ) 561 00:22:34,380 --> 00:22:35,547 That I cannot say! 562 00:22:35,547 --> 00:22:39,088 Not today, not tomorrow, not ever! 563 00:22:39,088 --> 00:22:41,422 - That's it! - Susie: All right, you're a fucking liar, Jeff. 564 00:22:41,422 --> 00:22:44,005 - Jeff: I'm not a liar! - There's something you're not telling me. 565 00:22:44,005 --> 00:22:46,046 Larry: Dr. Templeton! 566 00:22:46,046 --> 00:22:49,046 - Hey! - Honey, I'll be right in. 567 00:22:49,046 --> 00:22:53,255 Hey. Listen, I-- I happened to overhear that conversation, 568 00:22:53,255 --> 00:22:56,213 and I'm very appreciative that you respected 569 00:22:56,213 --> 00:22:57,796 the patient-doctor confidentiality. 570 00:22:57,796 --> 00:22:59,046 Hey, you're welcome. 571 00:22:59,046 --> 00:23:00,505 You know, when somebody tells me something, 572 00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:01,505 I take it to heart. 573 00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:02,671 Glad to hear that. 574 00:23:02,671 --> 00:23:04,171 You know, I noticed 575 00:23:04,171 --> 00:23:06,380 when I said hello to you earlier, 576 00:23:06,380 --> 00:23:08,297 I gave you a very hearty hello 577 00:23:08,297 --> 00:23:11,754 and your response was kind of grim. 578 00:23:11,754 --> 00:23:14,588 - Was that a funeral hello? - Well, very observant. 579 00:23:14,588 --> 00:23:18,380 It was a downward nod indicating a solemn hello 580 00:23:18,380 --> 00:23:20,921 as opposed to an upward nod 581 00:23:20,921 --> 00:23:23,422 where it would be a more joyous occasion. 582 00:23:23,422 --> 00:23:25,088 Gotcha. So, you're not mad at me? 583 00:23:25,088 --> 00:23:28,213 Oh, no, no, no, I'm not-- I'm not mad at you at all. 584 00:23:28,213 --> 00:23:30,588 Have you considered my generous offer 585 00:23:30,588 --> 00:23:32,005 to go chair shopping with you? 586 00:23:32,005 --> 00:23:36,088 I have considered it, yes, and I am declining it. 587 00:23:36,088 --> 00:23:38,255 - Huh. - I think if I go chair shopping, 588 00:23:38,255 --> 00:23:40,422 I'll-- I'll do it by myself. 589 00:23:40,422 --> 00:23:42,796 - Thank you. - Well, you'll be making the same mistake all over again. 590 00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:44,463 You'll have a substandard chair 591 00:23:44,463 --> 00:23:45,796 and a lot of unhappy clients. 592 00:23:45,796 --> 00:23:48,754 That presumes a mistake was made initially. 593 00:23:48,754 --> 00:23:50,796 - Hmm. - Now, if you'll excuse me, 594 00:23:50,796 --> 00:23:52,338 Mrs. Templeton is waiting for me. 595 00:23:52,338 --> 00:23:54,629 - How is Mrs. Templeton? - She's quite well. 596 00:23:54,629 --> 00:23:57,297 I'd like to-- I'd like to meet her. 597 00:23:57,297 --> 00:24:01,380 I don't think that is necessary, really, Larry. 598 00:24:01,380 --> 00:24:03,796 - Do you? - Cheryl tells me that she met her. 599 00:24:03,796 --> 00:24:07,422 Oh, yes. Cheryl and Mrs. Templeton are quite friendly. 600 00:24:07,422 --> 00:24:10,629 So, why can Cheryl meet her and not me? 601 00:24:10,629 --> 00:24:13,838 - I don't get that. - Well, Mrs. Templeton has already indicated 602 00:24:13,838 --> 00:24:15,463 that she would rather not meet you. 603 00:24:15,463 --> 00:24:16,838 Hmm. Well, in any event, 604 00:24:16,838 --> 00:24:18,754 please give my regards to Mrs. Templeton. 605 00:24:18,754 --> 00:24:20,338 I probably won't. 606 00:24:20,338 --> 00:24:23,629 Well, if you change your mind, Lionel, you'll let me know. 607 00:24:23,629 --> 00:24:25,547 Oh, Larry. 608 00:24:25,547 --> 00:24:27,088 Would it be all right if you continued 609 00:24:27,088 --> 00:24:29,629 to refer to me as Dr. Templeton? 610 00:24:29,629 --> 00:24:31,963 ( music playing ) 611 00:24:36,921 --> 00:24:40,088 Shalom and welcome to the celebration of life 612 00:24:40,088 --> 00:24:42,338 of Kenny Funkhouser. 613 00:24:42,338 --> 00:24:46,005 We begin today with the traditional memorial prayer, 614 00:24:46,005 --> 00:24:48,963 Kel Maleh Rachamim. 615 00:24:48,963 --> 00:24:53,505 ♪ Kel maleh rachamim... ♪ 616 00:24:55,380 --> 00:24:58,255 - Hey, that's my seat. - What are you talking about? 617 00:24:58,255 --> 00:25:00,005 I reserved-- I reserved that seat. 618 00:25:00,005 --> 00:25:02,255 I gave the guy 20 bucks to reserve-- look, here's the sign. 619 00:25:02,255 --> 00:25:04,130 - You threw it on the floor? - Fuck the reserved sign. 620 00:25:04,130 --> 00:25:06,338 This is a memorial service, not a Knick game. 621 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:08,505 - Respect the reserved sign. - This is the worst seat in the whole house. 622 00:25:08,505 --> 00:25:11,005 - I did it because the bathroom's 10 feet away-- - Look. See? 623 00:25:11,005 --> 00:25:12,838 It's a reserved sign. You can't just throw it on the floor. 624 00:25:12,838 --> 00:25:14,380 It should say "asshole," not "reserved." 625 00:25:14,380 --> 00:25:16,171 Do me a favor and beat it, will ya? 626 00:25:16,171 --> 00:25:18,380 - Just get outta here. - I got a fatwa I gotta deal with, here. 627 00:25:18,380 --> 00:25:20,671 - I need that seat. - I'm sorry about your fatwa, 628 00:25:20,671 --> 00:25:22,879 but I got a problem with my urinary tract. 629 00:25:22,879 --> 00:25:24,547 You always have to have the good seat, don't you? 630 00:25:24,547 --> 00:25:26,505 Always. That was my seat! You took it again! 631 00:25:26,505 --> 00:25:27,879 - It wasn't your seat. - You took it again! 632 00:25:27,879 --> 00:25:29,255 You took it again! You took it again! 633 00:25:29,255 --> 00:25:30,380 - Man: Shh! - I didn't. 634 00:25:30,380 --> 00:25:31,713 The Lord is his portion. 635 00:25:31,713 --> 00:25:33,171 Larry: What happened to the seat? 636 00:25:33,171 --> 00:25:34,838 - I gave you $20. - May he rest in peace. 637 00:25:34,838 --> 00:25:36,921 I know, I reserved it, but he just ignored it. 638 00:25:36,921 --> 00:25:38,422 - Rabbi: Amen. - All: Amen. 639 00:25:38,422 --> 00:25:39,796 Get him outta there! 640 00:25:39,796 --> 00:25:41,838 - He's a mourner. - He's not mourning! 641 00:25:41,838 --> 00:25:44,380 If he's mourning, it's 'cause he's losing his hair on the top. 642 00:25:44,380 --> 00:25:46,838 - That's what he's mourning. - I'm an usher, I'm not a bouncer. 643 00:25:46,838 --> 00:25:48,463 Okay, you know what? Forget it. 644 00:25:48,463 --> 00:25:50,213 You're the last usher I ever bribe. 645 00:25:50,213 --> 00:25:53,338 Fear not death. We are all destined to die. 646 00:25:53,338 --> 00:25:55,338 - We share it with all who ever lived. - Is this taken? 647 00:25:55,338 --> 00:25:57,629 - It's reserved. - Oh, okay, great. 648 00:25:57,629 --> 00:26:00,171 Rabbi: Death is better than a life of pain, 649 00:26:00,171 --> 00:26:02,380 - and eternal rest than constant sickness. - Oh, hello, Mrs. Templeton. 650 00:26:02,380 --> 00:26:05,338 Larry, do not address Mrs. Templeton. 651 00:26:05,338 --> 00:26:07,213 I hope you're enjoying truffle season. 652 00:26:07,213 --> 00:26:09,213 - Larry, find a seat. - Okay. 653 00:26:09,213 --> 00:26:11,380 - Rabbi: ...as a grain of sand... - Sorry. 654 00:26:11,380 --> 00:26:13,838 - ...the good things in life... - Who's she? 655 00:26:13,838 --> 00:26:16,588 - I'm Kenny's cousin. - It's none of your business, anyway. 656 00:26:16,588 --> 00:26:18,338 - Go find a seat. - Why didn't you save me a seat? 657 00:26:18,338 --> 00:26:20,130 You didn't ask me to save you a seat. 658 00:26:20,130 --> 00:26:23,629 - Marty: Hey. - Sorry, sorry, sorry. 659 00:26:23,629 --> 00:26:25,671 I'd like to bring forward Kenny's uncle, 660 00:26:25,671 --> 00:26:28,754 Martin Funkhouser, who would like to say a few words. 661 00:26:28,754 --> 00:26:31,088 - Great. ( scoffs ) - Martin, please? 662 00:26:31,088 --> 00:26:33,171 - Marty: Thank you, Rabbi Dorfman. - Oh, sorry. 663 00:26:33,171 --> 00:26:36,088 I would like to take a moment to acknowledge 664 00:26:36,088 --> 00:26:38,380 my former beautiful daughter Jodi, 665 00:26:38,380 --> 00:26:40,130 who's now my handsome son Joey. 666 00:26:40,130 --> 00:26:41,629 - I love you, Joey. - Thank you. I love you. 667 00:26:41,629 --> 00:26:43,629 - Keep up the good work. - Thank you. 668 00:26:43,629 --> 00:26:46,463 Kenny Funkhouser was my nephew. 669 00:26:46,463 --> 00:26:48,130 He was a golden child. 670 00:26:48,130 --> 00:26:50,171 - He was a straight-A student. - ( sobbing ) 671 00:26:50,171 --> 00:26:53,213 A great athlete who was going to Stanford. 672 00:26:53,213 --> 00:26:55,088 All-American baseball player. 673 00:26:55,088 --> 00:26:57,422 - ( sobbing loudly ) - Hey, hey, hey, come on, come on. 674 00:26:57,422 --> 00:27:00,588 - That's way too loud. - Okay, okay, okay. 675 00:27:00,588 --> 00:27:02,796 Just whimper. Can you whimper? 676 00:27:02,796 --> 00:27:06,547 This is a day of celebrating Kenny's life. 677 00:27:06,547 --> 00:27:07,921 - ( sobbing continues ) - What are you doing? 678 00:27:07,921 --> 00:27:09,796 Go cry outside, for God's sake. 679 00:27:09,796 --> 00:27:12,796 - He's so young. - Ah, come on, it's enough already. 680 00:27:12,796 --> 00:27:14,838 I can't hear a thing. 681 00:27:14,838 --> 00:27:16,505 - Shut up. - Okay, okay. 682 00:27:16,505 --> 00:27:19,338 Let me say some things about Kenny Funkhouser. 683 00:27:19,338 --> 00:27:21,588 - Kenny is with us. - ( sniffling ) 684 00:27:21,588 --> 00:27:23,713 He will always be with us. 685 00:27:23,713 --> 00:27:26,005 And someday, we'll see him again. 686 00:27:26,005 --> 00:27:28,713 Maybe play catch with him, even. 687 00:27:28,713 --> 00:27:32,213 When we leave this service today, let's not feel sad. 688 00:27:32,213 --> 00:27:36,338 Let's be upbeat, because that's what Kenny would've wanted. 689 00:27:36,338 --> 00:27:39,297 He was a very happy young man. 690 00:27:39,297 --> 00:27:41,088 Fatwa! He's got a gun! 691 00:27:41,088 --> 00:27:44,671 ( all screaming ) 692 00:27:46,754 --> 00:27:48,505 Ah! Oh, oh! 693 00:27:49,796 --> 00:27:52,171 - Oh, my God! - ( people screaming ) 694 00:27:52,171 --> 00:27:55,130 Go, sweetie, this way. Go out this way. 695 00:27:55,130 --> 00:27:56,547 ( Ted shouting ) 696 00:27:56,547 --> 00:27:58,171 - No! Jesus! - Wait, Ted! 697 00:27:58,171 --> 00:28:00,713 Go! Fatwa! 698 00:28:02,671 --> 00:28:04,380 - Man: Come on. - Man 699 00:28:04,380 --> 00:28:05,879 That's-- hey! 700 00:28:05,879 --> 00:28:08,547 That's my friend, you idiot! 701 00:28:12,588 --> 00:28:15,505 Oh. 702 00:28:15,505 --> 00:28:18,046 Sorry. 703 00:28:18,046 --> 00:28:20,380 ( receding footsteps ) 704 00:28:22,005 --> 00:28:23,754 Sorry. 705 00:28:26,088 --> 00:28:28,130 Woman: So, as you can see, great flow. 706 00:28:28,130 --> 00:28:29,588 We're just gonna move through here. 707 00:28:29,588 --> 00:28:32,130 Let me show you why this is your house. 708 00:28:32,130 --> 00:28:34,629 Chef's kitchen, you got silent dishwashers. 709 00:28:34,629 --> 00:28:36,213 It's an entertainer's dream, really. 710 00:28:36,213 --> 00:28:37,921 You could entertain for 100 people here 711 00:28:37,921 --> 00:28:40,588 or you could entertain for two. 712 00:28:40,588 --> 00:28:42,588 - Wow. - Floor-to-ceiling windows. 713 00:28:42,588 --> 00:28:46,130 - Pizza oven. - Uh-huh. And where's the master bedroom? 714 00:28:46,130 --> 00:28:49,505 - The master bedroom is upstairs. - Okay. 715 00:28:49,505 --> 00:28:52,422 And we could take the grand staircase 716 00:28:52,422 --> 00:28:55,255 or we could take the elevator. 717 00:28:55,255 --> 00:28:56,921 Elevator. 718 00:28:56,921 --> 00:29:00,422 ( music playing ) 719 00:29:07,171 --> 00:29:10,171 This is your own little sanctuary. 720 00:29:10,171 --> 00:29:13,255 Beautiful, spacious room. Lots of morning light. 721 00:29:13,255 --> 00:29:15,463 - Beautiful place to wake up. - Uh-huh. 722 00:29:15,463 --> 00:29:17,297 Just a great energy in here overall. 723 00:29:17,297 --> 00:29:19,963 Mm-hmm. Furniture come with the house? 724 00:29:19,963 --> 00:29:21,671 No, the furniture is staged, 725 00:29:21,671 --> 00:29:24,588 but I could talk to the designer about throwing it in. 726 00:29:24,588 --> 00:29:27,754 - You like this bed, Jeff? - ( mutters ) 727 00:29:27,754 --> 00:29:31,297 - Negotiable on the price or what? - They're firm with the price. 728 00:29:31,297 --> 00:29:33,629 It's out of our price range. 729 00:29:33,629 --> 00:29:35,463 - Come on. - We'll take it. 730 00:29:35,463 --> 00:29:37,754 - Huh? - We'll take it. 731 00:29:37,754 --> 00:29:40,255 Sold. Congratulations. 732 00:29:40,255 --> 00:29:42,505 ( music playing ) 733 00:29:46,338 --> 00:29:47,921 I gotta tell you something. 734 00:29:47,921 --> 00:29:50,713 I never thought I was gonna get you down here. 735 00:29:50,713 --> 00:29:52,422 - This is nice. - Let's see. 736 00:29:52,422 --> 00:29:53,963 - Try that. - ( sighs ) 737 00:29:53,963 --> 00:29:55,754 What do you think? 738 00:29:55,754 --> 00:29:57,963 - No, I don't think so. No. - I don't think so, either. 739 00:29:57,963 --> 00:29:59,046 - Not this one. - No. 740 00:30:01,505 --> 00:30:04,629 This isn't bad. It's got-- it's a bit of a rocker, here. 741 00:30:04,629 --> 00:30:06,130 Let's move to another chair. 742 00:30:07,838 --> 00:30:10,463 - All right. - All right, I gotta say, 743 00:30:10,463 --> 00:30:14,629 this one, to me, is a perfect chair. 744 00:30:14,629 --> 00:30:16,713 I think my clients would like this. 745 00:30:16,713 --> 00:30:18,046 - Great. - Why not? 746 00:30:18,046 --> 00:30:20,588 Well, let me... 747 00:30:20,588 --> 00:30:22,838 Ooh, it's kind of pricey. ( chuckles ) 748 00:30:22,838 --> 00:30:24,671 Well, thank you. Thank you very much. 749 00:30:24,671 --> 00:30:26,838 That's very generous of you, Larry. 750 00:30:26,838 --> 00:30:29,671 Are you expecting me to pay for this chair? 751 00:30:29,671 --> 00:30:31,671 That is all the time we have. 752 00:30:31,671 --> 00:30:33,838 And, well, I'll see you next week. 753 00:30:35,380 --> 00:30:38,297 Okay? Thank you, Larry. 754 00:30:38,297 --> 00:30:41,213 ( theme music playing ) 755 00:31:52,505 --> 00:31:54,213 Small favor. Could you drop a book off for me? 756 00:31:54,213 --> 00:31:55,380 I'm pretty sure the U.S. government 757 00:31:55,380 --> 00:31:57,297 would consider that free mail, 758 00:31:57,297 --> 00:31:58,713 which is kind of illegal. 759 00:31:58,713 --> 00:32:00,255 Do you think that's a good quality, stickling? 760 00:32:00,255 --> 00:32:01,171 Don't stickle. 761 00:32:01,838 --> 00:32:04,005 I don't care what she does. All men are like that. 762 00:32:04,005 --> 00:32:05,547 We don't care about what they do. 763 00:32:05,547 --> 00:32:06,671 We care about what they look like. 764 00:32:06,671 --> 00:32:07,671 Women are just the opposite. 765 00:32:07,671 --> 00:32:09,547 I would date a garbage woman. 766 00:32:09,547 --> 00:32:11,130 I've never seen a garbage woman. 767 00:32:11,130 --> 00:32:12,588 Expect a letter soon. 768 00:32:12,588 --> 00:32:15,463 Soon? A day, two days, four days? 769 00:32:15,463 --> 00:32:17,921 -Everybody know what soon is. -I don't know what soon is. 770 00:32:17,921 --> 00:32:19,171 -Soon is soon. -It's a very loose-- 771 00:32:19,171 --> 00:32:20,463 -Soon is not soon! -Soon is soon. 772 00:32:20,463 --> 00:32:21,671 Soon is not soon!